It Hurts
by entwined-in-a-web
Summary: Everyone has their insecurities, their doubts,the things they wish they could change. But just what are these?  REVIEW PLEASE! Sorry for the bad summary...it was hard to summarize


**A/N: Hey! So this was something I wrote back in June that I JUST finished xP Sorry about my neglected writing this summer xP**

**So yes! Lyrics to "Just Another Day" from Next to Normal. Um, yeah, so each one is a different POV of a character, and I even go into Heather and Will's baby. **

**So yes, this is the "it only hurts when-" bridge of the song, so…enjoy!**

**REVIEW PLEASE! Reviews make the world go round!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own AI or N2N, both of which I wish I did own =(**

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><p><em><strong>It only hurts when I'm here<strong>_

You're still alone. Your only friends are your couch and your bag of weed. Everywhere you look reminds you of what could've been. The still brightly-painted nursery throwing you a haunting smile, the pictures of you and the baby sitting around the room….the pictures of you and Heather….

You remember when this place wasn't so lonely. You remember when your house was a home. And it was with her…

_**It only hurts when he goes…**_

You watch him slowly destroy himself. Every night it's the same thing: Go out, get drunk, shoot up and come home. You're absolutely sick of it. But you love Johnny, so you put up with it. You know that you're the last thing on his mind and you know that there's another girl always. But you let him have his fun…Maybe he'll realize how much you mean to him one night…

But you doubt it.

_**It only hurts when I breathe**_

You find yourself breathless nowadays. You've been all swept up by your rock 'n roll boyfriend. So breathless from the glamour of your new life, how perfect it is, that you forget about what's important. Your child. Will…You told yourself you were never going to see or speak to or think about Will again. When Charlotte asks who her father is, you will reply with anything but Will. But before you get too far on the subject, your new boyfriend comes to take you out, to leave your troubled life for one night, to be breathless…

But you look back at your daughter and you take that breath…

_**It only hurts when I try**_

You sit and shake and cry. You've been throwing up all night. Whatsername says she's proud of you, this is a good step. But Jimmy wonders what kind of a step it is you're taking. He tells you to stop. He tells you to make the pain go away. All you have to do is shoot up again…That's it. Forget the pain and the discomfort of withdrawal and be happy with him once again. You accept the offer almost immediately because you know that you've tried and you can't take it anymore.

_**It only hurts when I think**_

All that crosses your mind is having a good time and making a name for yourself. You are a saint, after all. You carry the boy on a leash of drugs and won't let go. He's the most fun you've had in a long time. You never think about his feelings. You never think period. Thinking causes remembrance and remembrance causes pain. You don't want pain, therefore, you don't think. You just feel. You don't think about what you do to Johnny, if it feels right, you do it. But it's that girl whose name you can't remember who points it out to you. Stop and think. You're killing him. You look over everything you've done to the boy…

She's right.

_**It only hurts when I cry**_

From your little cradle, you watch them fight more. You wonder why Mommy looks so angry and why Daddy is screaming at her. You want this to stop, it's scaring you. So you start to cry, hoping they'll stop what they're doing and attend to you. But they don't. The fight gets worse. Before long, you see some new woman, a woman you've never seen before, carrying bags out of the house and into her car. Your Mommy looks ever more aggravated as she walks into your room. You feel some relief that finally you get the attention you want. But she grabs you up and places you in the carrier and begins to walk away. You see Daddy looking heartbroken. You want to reach out to him, but it's too late, you're gone. The last thing you see of this house is your Daddy shrinking away….

_**It only hurts when I work**_

Bombs are heard in the distance, another round of wounded comes rushing in. Being a nurse, you're used to seeing people in pain and blood. But you've never seen this much blood, this much anguish before. You remember your first day on the job, you had to leave the room as a patient of yours died. You were out for a week, upset and disoriented. Your friend comes to comfort you, saying it's all part of the job and to get used to it. You wonder why you wanted to go into a profession so heart wrenching and cold in the first place…You just can't recall…

_**It only hurts when I play**_

You keep looking over your guitar constantly. You refuse to let yourself play it. Every string, every note, every chord reminds you of her. That….whatever her name was. You remember serenading her to sleep after a wonderful night together with that very guitar. The sweet notes that came from it, the loving words that poured from your mouth. Now you're all alone. She's gone. You let her go…and now, not even your music can bring you back…just her.

_**It only hurts when I move**_

You look down at your missing leg once more. You still can't get used to the fact that you're crippled, that you're an amputee. You are about to board the plan to leave, to return home. You look at the other soldiers accompanying you on your journey. Most of them are returning for the final time, going home to stay. You look at how happy and healthy they are…You're sure that they'll have no problem coming back… You have to learn to walk all over again. Like a fucking baby. You feel like a hopeless cause sometimes…And you convince yourself that you are.

_**It only hurt when I say 'it's just another day'**_

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><p><strong>AN: Awwwww =( Poor EVERYONE!**

**So yeah…what did you think?**

**Reviews?**


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